Syndromes

The first day of spring is here! Go, go on my friends, go outside! Fall in love, water flowers in your gardens, pick out shapes in the clouds, all that jazz.

Or, stay inside and read my blog! Huzzah!

Okay, so today’s topic is syndromes. Namely this: I have a new favorite one! Up until today, my favorite medical syndrome of all time was *Restless Leg Syndrome. But thanks to a little browsing on **GoogleTrends yesterday, I now have a new favorite. Yup. You guessed it. Uncombable Hair Syndrome.

This is a real thing, people, a medically proven ailment suffered by a small percentage of human beings. Basically, it’s a slight deformation of the hair shape and follicles that makes the hair slightly rougher and super sticky uppidy. In other words, uncombable. Don’t believe me? That’s cool. I have done my research and if you are too lazy to do yours, it’s no problem of mine.

So my research into UHS got me thinking: what other personal problems can be written off to strange genetics?

How about UTTTGCS (Youtigeeks): Unable To Talk To Girls Comfortably Syndrome—affects millions of young men across the country. This regrettable condition relegates these sad, greasy young men to having conversations with the opposite sex entirely on the Internet. Treatment: as of yet undiscovered.

And then of course there is CSOHS (Seesohs): Compulsive Sniffing Of Highlighters Syndrome. This terrible ailment is much more widespread, with it’s only serious side affect being some people with brightly colored nostrils.

Got any more strange ailments? I’d love to hear them.

Enjoy the first day of spring, my lovelies. Until next time, as the dolphins of Dinotopia say, Breath Deep. Seek Peace.

--A--

FOOTNOTES:

*Restless Leg Syndrome is a real thing. I guess. If you have RLS and I have offended you, I’m sorry. But not sorry enough to not think the commercials are funny. As a person who can barely even speak without jumping and jiving all over the place and who can’t get to sleep unless I’m totally, physically exhausted, I have little pity for you.

**Google Trends is a fascinating thing. You can look at all the data for the top 100 Google searches for that HOUR, as well as compare those results with related searches and so on. It can be quite instructive to see what the country is googling at the moment, and it brings up some interesting questions. For instance…Why is “Mr. Rodgers” the 65^th most Googled thing from twelve o’clock this afternoon? And what is “Sweater Day”? And how are the two related? I’m not going to tell you…but you can find out at www.google.com/trends