Wiki Hows

Wiki Hows

How to Get Beautiful Women to be Attracted to You.

Step One: DO NOT work a sedentary job in Public Television, being exposed to no light other than neon bulbs and LCD screens.
Step Two: DO NOT eat fast food.
Step Three:DO NOT make the fact that you are really enjoying the John Adams biography the topic of every conversation.
Step Four: Enjoy a fulfilling and non stop dating life!

How to Write an Annoying Blog Post or Facebook Note

Step One: Be a teenager
Step Two: Feel ways about stuff.
Step Three: Express your emotions in hackneyed metaphors and badly structured whines about things which surely no one else has ever experienced, interspersed with mind blowing (to you) revelations as to the nature of life, the world, and human nature, such thoughts the likes of which you can't believe no one else has ever thought of.
Step Four: Enjoy comments from your equally brilliant friends about how smart you are.

How to Get People to State the Obvious

Step One: grow facial hair.
Step Two: Shave.
Step Three: Listen to people walk up to you and say "You Shaved!"

How to Make Yourself Feel Like a Schmuck

Step One: Think about how hard you believe your life is.
Step Two: Think about the fact that your life is easier than 99% of everyone else's life on the planet and that YOU didn't have to dig through a garbage heap in your bare feet for dinner last night.
Step Three: Think about the fact that you really don't let this simple knowledge make you grateful for every single day that you draw breath on this planet.

How to Destroy the Lighthearted Tone of a Blog Post

Step One: See above.

How to Get Andrew Marshall to Make Instant and Unfair Judgements About You at First Glance.

Step One: have blonde hair, wear really big sunglasses, and drive a late model car that your parents bought you. Complain about the car.
Step Two: wear shell necklaces, tight fitting polo shirts, leather flip flops, and have a shaggy haircut under a precariously perched, pre-frayed baseball hat with a store logo on it. Play Halo 3 badly.
Step Three: Quote Jon Stewart as your source for all political, social, and economic information.
Step Four: Enjoy as Andrew finds himself powerless to be a good Christian and attempts to ridicule you in conversation without you even knowing.

How to Break Writers Block and Make a Long Over Due Post

Step One: Become fascinated by Wiki How.
Step Two: Become inspired by Wiki How.
Step Three: Rip Off Wiki How.