Today's Lesson

Today's Lesson is...Don't Be a Flipp'n Moron with your Cell Phone.

I'll eleborate.

Imagine you are having a delicate, intense, incredibly painfull conversation with someone.

Now imagine that after you get off the phone with that person, you call your Mom to talk to her about the conversation. The phone rings and rings and finally goes to voicemail, except it isn't voicemail, because your Mom hasn't bothered to make one. A pre-recorded voice reads off a telephone number and then you get to leave your message.

It doesn't cross your mind at this point that the person you just finished talking to ALSO has this kind of voicemail.

So you leave your message on your Mom's phone, giving rough details of this delicate, painfull conversation and throwing in a few personal observations about the situation for good measure. You hang up and go about your day.

Later, your phone rings. It is the person whom you had the delicate conversation with. You answer, surprised, because this person and you are trying to get some things figured out by not talking for a while.

"Hello?" you say.

"You know that message you left your mom was actually on my phone", says the person, cutting right to the chase.

...

Your brain says several words that aren't very nice, but your mouth manages, after a long, deliciously awkward silence, to say "Oh."

"I just thought you should know," says the person. "So you could actually leave her one."

For the sake of privacy, I'll leave the conversation there and come back to you and today's lesson.

Dear friends, valued readers...don't be a complete imbicile with your cell phone like your friend Andrew. It only leads to terrible, terrible things.